It is very important to work on our self-relationship, in order to understand who we really are and be ready to relate to the world in a more assertive way. This includes to detach from destructive relationships, even if it is because of our or other’s intentions, and building new constructive relationships for our lives.
Today we’re talking, specifically, about the transformation of, and/or detach from, relationships that make us feel less than we are, or that just have turned into a waste of time, for we get use to it and we haven’t found our way out of there, whether because of one or many reasons.
Many types of beliefs have taken us to live relationships in our lives that, when we change our beliefs, we have seen them as something we don’t really want to live. As we grow up we pass certain situations that can lead us to know what we really don’t want or actually want, that’s why it is so important to learn to direct our lives by the relationship constructive path. This empower us.
There are 7 questions to assess the level of constructivity of relationships we live. Using the for every relationship (sentimental, family, friendship), in an honest way, we are able to understand if us, or other people, are having destructive behaviors, if they can really be transformed, or if the best thing to do is getting out of that relationship.
- In the relationship the both of us support each other?
- Is there respect between the both of us for each other’s growing and development?
- Is there freedom for being who we really are?
- Is there honesty and transparency?
- Is there dialog without manipulation?
- Is there trust, fidelity and loyalty?
- The both of us contribute to the construction and strengthening of the relationship?
If after asking ourselves these 7 questions most of the answers were “NO” we are living some kind of destructive relationship. It is important to analize is it’s really possible the transformation through the dialog, but if we perceive that there’s no possibility of changing what is destructing the relationship it is time to ask ourselves about the real reasons why we are still experiencing that. If some of those reasons is fear (of loneliness, of not finfing another person, of losing something) we must take the responsability of detaching from that and, in the most respectful way possible, making clear what we really want.
When we live in an unconsciouss destructive way, we tend to see the external as a threat, but we can transform our own selves and find that heart path that leads us to be more respectful, free, transparent, faithful, loyal and constructive to us and to people. So, if today we are in a relationship like that, we must give us the chance of getting out of it and let ourselves, or the other person, follow our own consciousness path. Let’s do this for ours and others, it may be that the relationship that finish now start over again with a more consciouss point of view in order to build the relationship up .
Let’s be independent, dependency always causes undesireble emotional situations.
Written by Ángel (@angellifecoach)